I Will Survive

These past three months or so, so many bad things happened to me. :-)
I got so depressed because of this that I feel like life is so worthless. I had this feeeling that i am a failure.

It was one of the lowest points in my life. It seems like I didn’t have the desire and the drive to live.

It was the result of so many setbacks, misfortunes, etc.

I had to travel back to Cambodia last January and when I reach Cambodia I don’t even have one dollar in my pocket. How will I survive without money? I don’t want to stay at my friends’ house because I was really depressed and I I am sure that my relationship with them will turn sour because of my depression. So, I decided to live alone.

That was just one of my cares then.

Now, it is Khmer New Year. And I am bent on changing my belief, my world view. I no longer want to live in negativism. I want to have positive outlook in life. I will fight on. I will win in this game called life. There are so many things I need to do to win in this game.

First, I need to earn more money.

Now, I am teaching in a school that pays me 7USD per hour. WIth this, I am supposed to be getting 500 - 600 USD per month. But because I teach the highest level in General English Program in our school there were a lot ot times that my students were absent. And if my students were absent, then, I won’t be paid. It’s like this. Lower level classes in our school have a lot of students. But as the level of classes go up so is the number of student. There is even one class that I only have one student. And if that student is absent, then, I won’t be paid for that particular class in that particular day. So, last pay day I only got 210USD. And, I can’t survive with this little amount. I need to find more money.

Few days ago, I talked to someone in the administration and asked if i can be given 6 classes per day. He said that he will see what he can do.

Though, I think that I still I need to look for more teaching jobs. Next week, after Khmer New Year I will visit two more schools to submit my CV and credentials. And I can only keep my fingers crossed. If my present school can’t give me more classes then I hope I can teach in more schools.

Please pray for me.

I will try to update you as soon often as I can.

Thank you very much for feeling with me.