Just Unfriended Someone

I just preached in our vesper service today.



In my preaching, I mentioned that there are people who will sap our strength. There will always be discouragers. They will come to you pretending to be friends (in a sheep's clothes). They may even pretend that they are discouraging you because they care.



I encountered that kind of person just now.



What did I do? I unfriended him on facebook. That doesn't mean that he's now my enemy. No. :-)



I unfriended him because if I won't I feel that he will just weigh me down.



I am reminded of my past note entitled "Pain-In-The-Neck".



Well, to tell you more about it allow me to share to you our exchange ot messages. Let's name him "U.P." which means "unfriended person".



Here it is:



Me:

Sorry, Doug, if I offended your sensibilities. I posted those for my friends who can understand my fears, my decisions, and my feelings.



I am sorry again.



UNFRIENDED PERSON (U.P.):



no need to apologies (sic) - i just felt that humility in these matters my be better - but I will pray for your success my friend



Me:



If you think that I am boasting when I posted that note - THEN YOU ARE WRONG!



That has never been and will never be my intention. You've seen it differently though.



Please do not respond to this. As I deleted you from my friends' list.



U.P.:



how mature and christian of you



Me:



Yes, I am a Christian. And being a Christian doesn't mean that you will accept insults. I felt insulted



First, I was accused of being humbug or boastful. And now, I am being accused of being immature.



Thank you but I know myself.



I just want to let you know that I've already forgiven you for your accusations.



I have the right to choose my friends though. Thus, I will appreciate if you will no longer respond to this.



U.P.:

wow what a shame you cannot accept any form of criticism - friends are not supposed to just agree with every thing you do or say they are there to offer advice -i am sorry if you think i insulted you - a guilty conscience maybe - anyway it is between you and God not me - i wish you well in your Christian activities



Me:



If I want to give constructive criticism, I approach that person personally without others knowing it. I make it a point that it is just between the two of us. I don't let others hear my negative but constructive criticism simply because I care for that friend. My criticism might be correct or wrong. But I will definitely not talk about it in front of people since it is something negative. Probably, I will accept it if you've said privately, like if you will send it to me as a personal message. But you criticized me in front people by posting it publicly.



What is the right way to criticize a person? I believe that the best way for a person to criticize a person is to talk to him privately.



Doug, I can accept criticism but you said it in an offending manner.



Apologies accepted.



Yes, it is really a shame if I cannot accept criticism. But I assure you, I can. It's just you said it in a wrong way. A WRONG WAY!



And, Doug, may I give you an unsolicited advice?



You are here in Asia. And we Asians are really not that upfront. I hope that you will also consider Asian cultures when dealing with Thais. I am sure you've got a lot of Thai friends who will tell you about Asian cultures.



U.P.



"knowing yourself? is that ego? Surely it is how God sees you that matters and if you see yourself differently to how others see you then so what - few of us see ourselves as others see us - God bless



Me:



I know myself. I see myself as God sees me - no more, no less.



I am loved by God, not perfect but forgiven. I am also special to Him.



I don't see myself as the way other see me. I see myself as how God sees me.



You see, men are fallen. We are all sinners. I am a sinner. If I will see myself the way other see me - I will have a distorted view of myself.



I should see myself as God sees me - love, forgiven and empowered by His Holy Spirit.