Sunday, December 27, 2009

Thanks!

I have to admit I was feeling down lately. Well... sign that I need to continue my psycotherapy. Hehehe.

But I am okay now. What did I do to lighten up my mood? I counted my blessings. And guess what popped in to my mind when I asked myself what blessings do I have?

Friends. Come to think of it I do have few but awesome friends. Friends that are tested not only by trials but also by time. So, this is to salute those we made me stand when I feel down.

1. Vida. My wife is really an angel. She always understands me and encourages me. I wonder what will make her mad. I guess none. :-)

2. Glenda. My sister is also an angel. She's the one who can criticize me and yet I won't feel offended. It's because I know that she really loves me.

3. Kiko. He was my roommate in Narra Residence Hall at UP Diliman. It was 1994. At first I thought we won't be good friends because I really find it hard to read his mind or to know what he's thinking. He has this mysterious aura

4. Charie Guinto-Shearer. I call her Bro even is she's a lady. Well, probably it is because I can really connect with her without hang ups even though she's in the opposite gender. We really stick with each other through thick and thin. We fight together when we want to fight. The funny thing is we argue a lot! Well, at least, she taught me how to argue without being pissed off. :-) We became bestfriends in 1989.

5. Russel. We haven't had the chance to be classmates because she's an english major while I was a student of Philosophy. We just met at the library. But I feel that I can really connect with her. Probably because she's frank. That was 1990.

6. Mitzi. Although we are no longer as close as before because... of course... she has her family now I still feel blessed to have those happy years in college because of friends like her. Thanks Mitzi!

7. Carlo. I met him in Theater. We were both assigned to work for props. He's really a cool guy! I remember when we both have to work for props overnight and when the time for him to go home came he asked me if I want him to bring an extra shirt so that I can take a bath in the back stage. Thanks, Carlo, for that act of kindness! :-) I also remember that he helped me to bag an acting part in one of the productions. He was working then as PM (Production Manager) and I audtioned for the said play. I have this inkling that I got that part because he talked to the Director. :-) Was it 1990?

8. Andrew. One thing that I can say is that he really is a true friend. :-) I've known him for more than a decade now.

9. Melanie. My buddy for life! :-)

Guys, thanks for making my life interesting and happy. :-)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Pain-In-The-Neck

Why do I write?

Others write to communicate their ideas.

I don't.

I write simply because I love to write. It is my passion. Not only that I find catharsis in writing but it is my life. As to use Immanuel Kant's words, writing must not be a means-to-an-end but and end-in-itself.

Therefore, others might find this essay pathetic and bizarre. And I don't give a damn.

For in this life I've learned that there are some people who will just suck your strength and drive to live. I've learned that I should hie away from them. Literally run away from them.

That is one of the reasons why I "unfriended" (http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/infotech/view/20091117-236727/Unfriend-is-New-Oxford-American-word-of-the-year) some people in facebook.

I find some people annoying. Of course, they do have the write to be annoying. It's their lives. They can do whatever they want in their lives as long as they don't infringe the right of others to live happily. But I believe that I also have the right to protect myself from those pain-in-the-neck. Tit for tat.

Who are those pain-in-the-neck?

First, there are those who think highly of themselves. Their disease can be found in DSM IV published by American Psychological Association. It is called NPD (Narcisistic Personality Disorder). They have this preconceived notion that others are infatuated with them and out to get them. (Argh! Just thinking of them makes me puke.)

A subtype of this first group are those who have the notion that they are so gorgeous that they think that others are out to get them. They act as if they are being fantasized by so many people. They are so fixated with how they look that they probably spend fortunes in cosmetics especially whitening products. They are so nervous that people will steal what is in between their legs because they don't have anything in between their ears. They don't want to loose the only thing that they have. Well, I just wish that they will meet the little prince in Antoine de Saint Exupery's novelette who said that, "what is essential is usually not visible to the naked eye."

Another subtype of this first group is the "Smart Aleck". They will tell you what to do and they love to brag about their opinions. What the heck! Let them believe that they know everything. Let them be like clanging cymbals though I really can't relate with them. For I have learned that the only thing I know in this life is that I know nothing.

The Smart Aleck group will bring us to another type of pain-in-the-neck. Those people who discriminate against others. I am convinced that this grouping is universal. I've seen people of this kind in countries I've stepped into. Philippines, Cambodia, Vietnam, China, Hongkong, Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia, Laos, Myanmar and Malaysia.

Having read about racial profiling in other countries convinced me that discrimination is not just endemic but pandemic.

Lessons learned?

Considering the fact that we will always be around these pain-in-the-neck people whenever we are in a group therefore it is much better to be in solitude. Actually, it is much better to be in the state of ahimsa. Ahimsa is a Hindu concept wherein the soul attains the blessed calm of non-existence. However, since I do believe in biblical teaching of heaven and hell the only choice that we have is to be in solitude. A hermit who is devoted to prayer, contemplation and reading the Word of God.

I Am A Rock
by: Simon & Garfunkel

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Are You A Backtist?

“I saw the pictures taken last Sunday. And guess how many shots I got?”, said Mark.

“How many?”, asked John.

“Only a few.” answered Mark.

“How’s that?”, queried John.

“Well, I always hide at the back of someone. As you may know, I am not only a Baptist but a Backtist as well.”, joked Mark.

Mark is a kind of guy that abhors limelight. He enjoys having a low profile. In fact, if someone is asked in his church, “Do you know Mark?” he will receive a peculiar look with the statement, “Mark who?”

Mark has the most unnoticeable ministry in the church. Teaching little kids while the adults are worshipping the Lord in the main hall. Sometimes, he helps in washing cups at the pantry. Cups that have been used by church goers when they had small talk at the reception area or visitors’ lounge.

His friends are the janitors, drivers, maidservants of the rich members of the church. He seldom talks to the church leaders. He just do his tasks silently. Unnoticeably.

Are you just like Mark? Do you feel that you are insignificant that you always hie away?

In this modern world where leadership is being promoted or advanced, Mark’s attitude is deemed unfavorable.

Today’s philosophy is that if you want to be great you have to lead.

This attitude can also be seen in the Bible though.

In Mark 9:33-37 we can find the story about the disciples who are arguing who is the greatest among them.

As I read this passage this morning I can’t help but picture in my mind what transpired during their travel. I also imagined that there was a man who was so introverted that he just sat at the corner while the disciples were arguing. Let’s say he was doing the humblest and most unpopular task during Jesus’ time.

And all twelve disciples were so popular by virtue of their positions and because they were always around Jesus.

Good thing that Jesus knew what was in their minds. Jesus asked them about it (verse 33) but the disciples did not answer because they were arguing who is the greatest among them (verse 34).

Lo and behold, Jesus repudiated their wrong notion about leadership and greatness. He said that it is good to be humble and be the servant (verse 35). We know that being a servant is not being held in high esteem. That is both during Jesus time and the modern world.

To emphasize his point more, Jesus said that serving children is a noble work (verses 36-37). We know that children are said to be powerless as compared to adults. They don’t have that influence yet. Therefore, serving them can be considered a lowly function.

My friend, if your work in God’s kingdom seems to be unnoticeable. If your work seems to be inconsequential. If you feel insignificant – may the word of Jesus be an encouragement to you.

“Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me." Mark 9:37

A Special Place In My Heart


Poor kids will always have a special place in my heart.

If I will be asked to choose between teaching poor kids and rich kids I will definitely choose the former.

Might be because of their desire to be accepted, loved, respected, etc.

Perhaps because in them - - you get what you see. No façade. No cover-ups. No pretensions.

That is why I’ve been going to a poor village for couple of weeks now. Pastor Perlito Gatmen, a missionary, asked me if I want to help him in teaching poor kids. I readily said yes. He started going to that community last September.

The community is really poor. They don’t have any source of potable water. The fifty families who are part of the said community, I’ve been told by Pastor Perlito, share three deep wells. The street is unpaved which becomes so muddy during rainy season.

Pastor Perlito teaches morning and afternoon while I help only in the morning. Our class starts at 9AM and we have around twenty students.

We have the opportunity not only to teach them English and proper hygiene but also to teach them about Christ.

The kids are open to the Gospel and they are enjoying listening to Bible stories and learning Christian songs. Last week, we taught them Read Your Bible, Jesus Loves Me This I Know, With Christ in my Vessel, and other songs that tells about the love of God. I and Pastor Perlito presented the Gospel through a magic trick show. The kids not only enjoyed watching us perform the trick but also understood the Gospel.

Panha is one of the kids. He is always present and on time in coming to class. He always sits in front and actively participates in class activities. I can see that he really is happy not only in our class but also in spending time with me and Pastor Perlito. Panha helped pastor Perlito in doing the basketball court. (One of Pastor Perlito’s projects is to put up a basketball court for the youth who are attending the afternoon class.)

Once, when we decided to visit houses just to connect with the residents of the community, Panha went with us. He did it with a smile in his face.

I am sharing this to you so that you can be part of our happiness every time we spend time with those kids and so that you can also pray for the ministry that God entrusted to us.

God bless.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Culture of Violence

(Note: My purpose in posting this is not to pick a fight but to start an intellectual conversation about an issue which may affect the development of Cambodia as a whole.)

I first came here in March 2005. I stayed in Banteay Meanchey volunteering as an ESL Teacher and immersed myself in Cambodian way of life. I tried to observe and grasp everything thing that I can see as I spent my time with Cambodian youth.

One thing that I noticed with my Cambodian friends is that they hit each other as a means of greeting one another. I think I observed this phenomenon not once, not twice but too often. I asked them why they do it with one another and what they told me is that it was just a joke. I can''t help but ponder if it is a subtle way of releasing the innate culture of violence that maybe embedded in Cambodian psyche.

Let me share to you another experience. There was an incident in 2006 in our in school in Banteay Meanchey that really made me mad. Some students brought and drunk liquor inside the campus. What is more saddening is that I only learned of the incident 3 months after it happened. I asked one of my trusted students why he did not tell me about the said incident. Here is a verbatim of our conversation:

ME: Why did you not tell me that your classmates brought and drunk liquor inside the school campus?

MY TRUSTED STUDENT: I am afraid, Teacher. You know the culture of Cambodian, Teacher? If I will do that they will kill me.

You see, I asked some more students why nobody told me about the incident and they answered the same thing. They are afraid that their classmates will harm them.

The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine and he told me that there was a vehicular accident near our place. It involved a motorbike and a car. Sadly, the motorbike driver died on the spot while the driver of the car sped away. It was a hit-and-run.

My friend mentioned that it is customary in Cambodia for the suspect to run and hide. And if he decides to surrender he will surrender to police officers in another province.

The reason is that the relatives of the victim will definitely seek revenge by killing the culprit. It is a clear case of vendetta. A clear case of an-eye-for-an-eye, a-tooth-for-a-tooth. They will no longer wait for the duly constituted criminal justice system but they will take justice in their own hands.

What do you think? Is the culture of violence embedded in Cambodian psyche? Mmmm. I wish I can have a sociological study about this issue.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Happiness

"Sok sabay?", my friend greeted me when I met him at the corridor.

Sok sabay literally means, "are you happy?" It is a common greeting in Cambodia. It actually implies that the speaker wishes the person he is greeting happiness in life.

This brought me to the idea that most of us, if not all of us, are longing for happiness.I am even reminded of the movie "Pursuit of Happyness".

Now, a lot of people try to look for that elusive happiness through a lot of things. Some try to find that happiness by working so hard. They thought that they will be happy if they are successful. Some try to get that happiness by being famous. Some even thought that they will be happy if they will have a lifetime partner. Well, don't get me wrong. I believe that part of being human is the need to relate. We are created to love and to be loved. But relationship is not a means-to-an-end or an end-in-itself. Relationship, I believe, is just a result of learning how to love and be loved correctly which is the result of being happy. Happiness should come first before having a fulfilling relationship.

As I think about this topic I can't help but be reminded of the guy in Luke 15:11-25.

Yes, that guy who left his home for the pursuit of happiness.

Presumably, the reason why he left home is that because he was unhappy? Why would he leave home if he was contented? (verses 11-12)

So, he left home for a distant country (verse 13)and tried to indulge in activities that he surmised will make him happy. He squandered his wealth in wild living (verse 13). I guess he tried to establish relationships with different ladies by spending a lot for them. He might have even looked for them in girlie bars if there are such places in his time. I also have a guess that he spent his money with the desire of being famous. Anyway, isn't it that some do splurge for their friends because they want to be accepted and be famous?

But the question is: Did he find that happiness that he was searching for?

The answer is a resounding no.

In fact, he felt that he was a failure. (verses 14-19)

Nevertheless, he realized that the only way for him to be happy is to go back home and obey his father (verses 17-20). And he was right. He found happiness at his home. There was fun and dancing at his home. (verses 22-25)

Perhaps you also left home in pursuit of that elusive happiness.

Perhaps you tried to have it by searching for Mr. Right or Miss Right.

Perhaps you thought that you can have that long-lasting happiness by doing things that will give you temporary pleasure like sex, drugs, accomplishments, and others.

My friend, there is only one way to have complete fulfillment and joy in life.

It is by going back to the Lord and obeying him by saying, "No to what I want, yes to what God says."

"The only time, the only time I ever saw Him ran
Was when He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said, 'My son, come home again.'
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes.
With forgiveness in His voice, He said,
'Son, do you know I still love you.'
He caught me by surprise when God ran.

The day I left home I knew I'd broken His heart
And I wondered then if things could ever be the same.
Then one night I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
It was the only time - the only time I ever saw Him ran.

I was so ashamed, all alone and so far away
But I know He's been waiting for this day."
From the song, "When God ran"

Who Is Responsible for the Explosion in Karen State?

I was shocked when I heard the news that a bomb exploded in Karen State (http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/afp_asiapacific/view/1025510/1/.html).

To give you an overview, Karen People are fighting Myanmar for independence since the 1960s.

The government of Myanmar is accusing the Karen National Liberation Army as the group responsible for such cowardly act.

There are reasons for me to believe that it was not done by the Karens. You see, I've lived with the Karen people for more than two months and I am still in contact with my Karen friends up to now.

I've known them as peace loving people and it is hard for me to believe that they can do such inhumane act that will affect civilians.

On the contrary, I do have a first hand knowledge of how Gen. Than Shwe's government bombed Karen Refugee Camps in Thai-Myanmar border.

I have seen (and spent time with them) so many amputated and blind Karen soldiers who were victims of landmines. As you may know, Myanmar military planted a lot of landmines in their battle against Karen National Union.

I hope that world leaders will condemn this act of barbarism.