Can't Speak English?

It was my first day in school. I just signed up as an ESL teacher in an international school in Phnom Penh to augment my income in the university in Battambang where I've been teaching for three years now.

 I was assigned to teach Level 10 ( Intermediate) class.

I asked one of the students for her opinion regarding the topic. She replied, "Can't speak English. Don't know English."

I encouraged her by saying with a smile, "Teacher Pablo believes in you. Don't worry. I will definitely understand you."

On my way home I can't help but compare my school with another school in Battambang. My school has a reputation for hiring only native speakers. In fact, I am the first Asian ESL teacher in that school.

 In spite of that I've heard several students say that they can't speak English.

COERR Language Skills Center in Battambang only hires locals. They don't have any foreign teachers. They don't even have Filipino teachers.

The big difference is that I've met a lot of students at COERR who are in level 7 and they are really conversant in English.

This proves that the need to hire native teachers of English  is a must is wrong.It is just a myth.

What schools need to do  is to hire competent teachers.

Let's take the case of the Philippines for example. I never had native English teacher since the first time I entered school. I learned English in a public school and with Filipino teachers.

In fact, the Philippines never hired foreign teachers. The only time that the Philippines had American English teachers was in 1901 when the U.S. government sent 500 trained teachers to the Philippines. That's just it. After that we were practically on our own.

The differrence? The American English teachers who went to the Philippines in 1901 and the teachers at COERR know pedagogy. They were and are trained teachers.

While most of the native American teachers here plumbers, electricians, gardeners or waiters whom I guess are having difficulty finding jobs in the U.S. probably because of lack of qualifications.

Those who are really trained and qualified American English teachers would rather go to China, Japan or Korea where they can earn 3,000 to 4,000usd.

American ESL teachers here in Cambodia earn 800usd to 1200usd. 

I am not giving up. This is the reason why I really enjoy my teaching job at UME (University of Management and Economics) in Battambang. I am sure that my students will sooner or later become school administrators. I hope that they will not look at the color of the skin when they hire ESL teachers. They can hire whites, blacks or Asians. It doesn't matter. What is important is that they should look at the qualifications. I am sure though that they will hire teachers based on competencies.

A Doctor's Nightmare

I feel that I am a doctor's nightmare.



First, I am now limping for reason I cannot fathom. In fact, I was crawling when I went to the toilet the other night. I've seen three doctors and they all have different diagnoses. The first doctor said I had a gout. The second doctor said that it is simple case of wear and tear of muscles. The third doctor said that it is because of my weight. He said that I am overweight and my feet cannot support my weight.



Second, I am half-blind now probably because of cataract. My students often notice it when I read in front of the class.



Third, I am a diabetic.



My colleagues, perhaps, are wondering why it seems that I am not bothered by my health. And yes, it is true that I am not bothered by it.



Definitely not primarily because I've learned to accept my situation.



I am not bothered by my health simply because it reminds me that I am human. It reminds me that I should really depend on God.



I thank Him because this is an opportunity to exercise my faith.



As the song says, "I don't know what the future holds." I don't know if I will be crawling to go to university tomorrow.



I know, though, that God will not forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I also know that if I ask anything according to His will He hears me; and that if He hears me I know that my request will be granted." (I John 5:14-15 Right now, I am asking that God allows me to go to my class regularly.



I am also not bothered by my health now because I always look at the future. My God promised me a glorious future in heaven. In fact, He reserved a place for me in heaven. (John 14:2)



What I am experiencing now is temporal pain. In heaven, there is no pain. There is no sufferings. In heaven, I will no longer need to drink my maintenance drug to regulate my blood sugar.



And I am anxiously awaiting for that day.



"I don't know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from it's sunshine,

For it's skies may turn to gray.

I don't worry o'er the future,

For I know what Jesus said,

And today I'll walk beside Him,

For He knows what is ahead."

- from the hymn of "I Know Who Holds Tomorrow"

Pathetic

"C'mon! Let's go out!", Mark told me.

"Where are we going?", I replied.

"Let's go barhopping. Don't worry. I'll pay."

"I don't want to go out.", I said with a smile.

"Pablo, you've been so sad for a week now. I don't want you to be sad. Let's go out and have fun."

"No, thanks. See you tomorrow." I smiled politely.

But I was telling myself, "How can I have fun when my Nanay (mother) has been in ICU for a month now and I can't even be with her because she's miles away. I can't even call her on the phone because it might interfere with the medical apparatus? Pathetic!"

I closed the door gently but I was sad. How can friends be so pathetic? Don't they know that I am grieving right now?

As I always do everytime I am in emotional pain, I opened myBible. I turned to John 11.

John 11 is about Lazarus and his sisters Martha and Mary. In the story, Jesus learned that Lazarus died.

Lazarus' sisters, therefore, were grieving.

Jesus loved Lazarus, Martha and Mary so much. Mary was the same woman who poured an expensive perfume on Jesus' feet.

We know what happened next. Jesus wanted to visit them inspite of the danger He may encounter in going to the same place where the Jews stoned Him.

Martha was probably discouraged. She felt that her only hope,Jesus, was late in coming to help them (verse 21). I guess, though, that Martha was still hopeful as she told Jesus, "But I know that even now God will giveyou whatever you ask." (verse 22)

How did Jesus respond?

Jesus knew that Martha and Mary were grieving.

Did Jesus invite them to go to the Jordan River for aswim? No, He did not.

Did Jesus ask Martha to go shopping? No, He did not.

Funny but it is how some us console our friends.

Did He rebuke Martha and Mary for having a little faith? No,He did not.

Instead, He reassured Martha and Mary by telling them what He can do as the Son of God.

Then they went to the tomb.

What happened next?

Jesus wept (verse 35).

You might be asking, "Why did Jesus weep?"

Or you might be thinking in the same way that Jews who were there thought. You might be thinking thatJesus wept because He loved Lazarus so much. (verse 36)

Jesus' love for Lazarus is unquestionable. But was that the reason He wept. I am convinced that it was not.

Let's go back a bit to know the reason. Verse 33 says, "WhenJesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled."

I strongly believe that Jesus wept because He was feeling what Martha and Mary felt. He was actually empathizing with them.

Webster's Dictionary defined empathy as, "the action of vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another."

I have reasons to believe that the reason why Jesus wept is because He was empathizing with Mary and Martha.

I hope we can learn from Jesus when we have a friend who is suffering.

Instead of rebuking our friends;

Instead of treating our friends to McDonald's or Starbucks;

We can use the Scriptures to reassure that Jesus is still in control.

We can also relay to them that we care by empathizing with them.



"Out on the highways and byways of life,
Many are the weary and sad;
Carry the sunshine where darkness is rife,
Making the sorrowing glad.Make me a blessing,
make me a blessing today"
-from the hymn "Make Me A Blessing"

Traffic Jam

I hate traffic jams. Not only because it wastes my precious time but also because it gives me ample time to think about things I’d rather forget. Who wants to remember things which are really embarrassing like when you went on stage in front of so many people with your pants unzipped? Who wants to think about piles of assignments that one has to do urgently? Like the one I have to do for the writing workshop I am attending. Our teacher wants to know what we remember most in high school.

“Gilbert, hi!”

“Hi, Rica!”

That’s it! She is the one I remember most in high school. Who will forget those attractive dimples that she usually displays? Who will forget those expressive eyes that twinkle every time she wants you to give her a portion of your banana cue.

“Are you going to Baguio for vacation?”

“No, I live there,” I replied.

“You no longer live in Tondo? The one I used to go to?”

She often visited me in our place then. I think that is one of the reasons why I fell in love with her. Though, most often she visited me just to ask me if I can lend her my notes in Physics.

“What did you do after graduation?”, she asked.

I want to tell her that I did not go out of the house for more than two months. I did not do anything. I just cried inside my room. Sulking while listening to the song that says, “some good things never last.”

Graduation day was the saddest day for me. We parted ways. It was really tragic. Anyway, all great love stories end up in tragedies. Isn’t it that Florante and Laura, Romeo and Juliet and Jack and Rose all parted their ways?

“Went to U.P. tyo study Philosophy,” I replied.

“I also took some philosophy subjects in the monastery.”

“You entered monastery?’, I inquired.

“I am a nun.”

No doubt about it. Even during our high school years she was the most behaved in class. She is really an angel. She never did cut her classes just to watch movies or play video games at a nearby amusement center. But most of all she did not call our teacher Miss Piggy even if our teacher was 350 pounds.

“Oh, I already have to get off. See you soon, Gilbert. Bye. By the way, I will always remember our high school days.”

“Me too.”

Really, I will always remember our happy moments together. Incidentally, it is also the one I’d rather forget. I really hate this traffic jam.

“Goodbye, Rica!”

Chili

I hate chili.

Some like chili. I do recognize it. But never in my life did I like chili.

Of course, chili can do a lot of things. It can warm one's body. It can improve your appetite. But it can also create havoc in your life.

And right now I am cursing myself for munching a red hot chili. Why am I doing this to myself? Is it a manifestation of being a masochist? Or am I just punishing myself for making a wrong decision. A wrong decision of falling for him.

You see, I am too old for mushy stuff. I don't want to concern myself with romantic things. Love is only for teenagers. I am a professional. I must know which are important and which are not. I must concern myself only with important things.

So, the first time I look at him I told myself that I will never fall for him. Why should a forty year old professional who traveled to a lot of countries fall for 21 year old teenager?

Yet, the first time I saw him I fell in love with him. His sweet smile. His innocent look. His angelic face.

Yes, the first time I saw him I was damning myself for I am really smitten by his innocence. Damn! Can I not see? If I will fall for him I will only be in the world of make believe. How can a handsome young man fall for a forty year old spinster? That's craziness.

You see, I was confident of myself before. I thought I could ward off this feeling. And so I thought. it wasn't easy. His face sticks in my memory. Like a virus that keeps pestering my hard disk. I wish I could just buy an anti-virus program and remove all infected files in my brain. But that's an impossibility.

How can I? He is really the nicest boy I know. He doesn't guffaw like others. He is well-behaved as a teenager.

He doesn't pester me unlike other boys.

In fact, I was the one who wanted to pester him. I want to tell him a lot of things. I want to tell him how much I care. But I can't. I don't have the strength to. Damn me! I am again damning myself because there were opportunities that I could respond positively to him.

Once he hold my hand. I guess it was his way of showing his affection to me. Maybe not romantic. You know, affection of a son to a mother. Or of a nephew to an aunt. Or whatever. But I distanced myself from him. Maybe I was afraid. Afraid of being hurt again. Afraid that what's happening is just a make-believe. Just a wishful thinking.

But now I am cursing myself because I cannot deny the fact that I fell deeply in love with him. I cannot take my heart and my mind away from him.

Just like the feeling when you are munching chili. The burning sensation in your mouth that you want to remove by gulping glasses and glasses of water. The same burning sensation in your mouth which you are looking for even if it causes pain.

And just like that burning sensation my feeling for him cannot be quenched.

Maybe I just have to endure it. And in time it will go away.

I really hate chili.